I need to cultivate my laziness, obviously. I came in to a bust ass assignment, another nurse with a B.A. assignment, and the Co- worker from Hell who had a single, settled patient who would have been out of ICU and on the floor except that the floor was swamped. Ahem. In the first two hours of my day, I drew central and peripheral blood cultures on a screaming fighting BITING child who was small, but mighty. ( No sympathy from nurses who care for adults, I know, but, still. He BIT me.) Then I drew a few more labs that the oncoming doc wanted. Then I noticed that my other patient hadn’t had his morning x-ray, and gee, seemed to have lots ‘o clonus and weird over all tone, plus a tendency to sort of drift off and stop breathing. He gets a neuro consult and a stat CT of his head, and mom of said baby is crying and crying and crying. Both patients are on triple antibiotics, so timing is tight, both only have one IV and no real hope of getting another without a central line.
Kid number one, the biter- ( actually, I admire his spirit. He is like a little David going against the incomprehensible giants. I mean, he’s had a brain insult, he’s two, and people keep poking him)- begins to vomit. A dire sign in our neuro unit. Plus, I get the happy task of pointing out to the docs that they were not notified last night when the patient was spiking a temp, although the nurse who took the temp did write it down on the chart. Luckily for Biting David, he was not septic and dead within the hour, but we’re still very worried about him. We discover that grandma made him eat breakfast before she left, and then when mom couldn’t find his breakfast tray, she went to the cafeteria and bought him breakfast, which he ate, and you just can’t fit that much mother love into one tummy. Too much tummy pressure, not head pressure. I change the bed and go about my business.
Lazy co- worker has given pain meds once. She is reading People magazine at the desk.
While I am down in CT with the baby, who is obligingly breathing on his own while off the unit, another nurse comes in. Lazy nurse declares herself charge nurse. I come back, and she:
a) helps me settle my patient and reassures mom of patient
b) volunteers to stick little Biter for the new labs that ID has ordered STAT
c) takes her ass to lunch
If you have been following along you have chosen “c” which, although it is the wrong thing to do, is the right answer to our little quiz. Nurse who has come in is a traveler who is not renewing her contract, and thus is reading her magazine at the desk.
Did I mention that there is no ward clerk, and that the phone rings incessantly?
Did I mention that there is another nurse with an assignment as bad or worse than mine?
Did I mention that I now seem to hate almost everyone over the age of twelve?