Bathroom Privacy

If you are with my family, and you feel as though you are going to say something very, very rude, do not go into the bathroom. Do not, I beg you, go into the bathroom shut the door, and enjoy several comment free moments. Because, if you spend more than the Correct allotted Time you will then be faced with every single person asking you about your bowel habits, or telling you about theirs. Did you know that pepperoni give mom gas, and diarrhea? Did you know that there are those among you who suffer from constipation? Did you know that there are others in the party who feel that rich food is just not worth it? Did you want to know?

I’m just sayin’.

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