I think that the whole medblog world is rattled by Geeknurse being shut down. He was always so careful with his photos, always got permission, damn informative, and really a lovely writer with a tender heart. It’s made me wonder what I’m doing with a blog, other than staying in touch with my darling brother (who could leave a FREAKING COMMENT once in a while, as you’re the only regular reader I’m aware of.) I scare the knitters with the nurse stuff, I bore the nurses with the knitting stuff, I only post once a week or so, and I’m basically a navel gazer: all questions, no answers.
Like much of my life, I’m neither fish nor fowl. A woman, but not feminine. A writer who has stopped writing, an irritable mother who nontheless thinks that having children is the best thing I’ve ever done. I’m a nurse whose content to be not a superstar on the unit, happily taking the less technical patients and dispensing baths and bedchanges life it’s part of my personal religion.
I knit, but not the freaking hard stuff, I spin, but only sometimes. I’ve never had a religious experience from a craft activity. I’m only as likely to like a knitter as anyone else. I don’t feel instantly understood by anyone, wether or not we like the same activities, and I have missed the boat on the whole craft as spirituality thing. I’m a fish who likes a nice small pond. Not that I’m the biggest fish in it, by any means, but because I know every nook and cranny of my world and there are very few surprises. Even the deaths of my child patients does not surprise me, although it cuts me.
So, what am I doing here?