Franken Machine

This is just…so…wrong.  Including the ‘lets photograph it in the back of the truck, cause it’s the cleanest place we have’ ebay posting.

I found myself oddly fascinated, repelled, and drawn.  It haunted me. I finally emailed the seller and asked if the shuttle was still there, certain that if it was missing, it was too much of a project, and I would be off the hook..  The shuttle was there, and apparently moves when the crank is turned.

Oh, damn.  It was like driving home from work in the grotty neighbor hood the hospital is in, and seeing a stray dog.  I don’t go after dogs.  I’m afraid of being bitten.  But I do stop and call them.  If they come, and they rarely do, they earn a free ride home ( if the have tags) or to the shelter (if they do not).  Last year a big boxer pit mix was sitting on the median of a busy street, looking perplexed and shaking.  Scary dog, and scared, and a scared dog is dangerous.  But I called.  He turned his great, meaty muzzle towards me, trotted across the street, and through the open drivers door, jumped in and sat in the passenger seat.  He licked my ear when I got in, and what could I do?  I drove the giant scary dog to the shelter.  The animal control officers approached the car with a snare pole, I swear he was a big dog. No ears, like he had been used to fight.  He jumped out sat, gave his paw, rolled on his back and then wriggled, waiting for his belly rub. Two big, tough animal control officers knelt down to rub that belly.

So, that’s how this machine was.  I bought it.  I await it’s arrival, to see how the godawful lamp bits were stuck to it, if it has been spray painted, if it is frozen, and what all else.  When I get it, I will take photos of the process, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it is salvageable as a machine and that with a little oil if will flop[ onto it’s back, waiting for a belly rub. If nothing else, I just paid $30 for a blog post or three.


9 responses »

  1. Look at it this way – if you can't salvage it as a machine, you have a nice treadle lamp to treadle by. Most lamps cost that much or more. Good luck.

  2. OMG, this is hilarious. My brother and I have a Christmas tradition: I give him something related to fish (the uglier the better) and he gives me a lamp that he has made out of a former appliance (toaster, blender, etc.) I just posted this to him on Facebook and told him NEVER to do it!

  3. Please DragonPoodle I see an opportunity here to not acquire one more sewing machine AND to make a profit. Please have your brother drop a line on this blog so I can contact him and let him know how he can have this wonderful piece of folk art. I think $60 is a real deal.Woolywoman's DH

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